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Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Hanging with Honey {Day 6} - Finding Balance.

This post was originally published over at my dear friend Erin's, Tweet Potato Pie, who btw, I haven't talked to in a coon's age. (What up girl? Missing you.xxoo)    She was doing a series on "Finding Balance" and had an amazing group of ladies share their journey and tips and wisdom. You should go check it out.  I didn't think I would have much to bring to the table when she first asked me but I discovered it's all in how you approach it.  ** the pics are recent.

  This was taken last week after I walked another 3 miles.  HOLLA.
 I'm rediscovering how much making time for exercise brings balance into my life.
Like seriously, how many times to have to relearn this lesson before it sinks in FOR GOOD?

(And still coveting your prayers this week while Nick preaches! xxoo)

Oh the irony that I'm about to "enlighten" y'all with what I know about the subject of balance when I was supposed to have sent Erin this post days ago.  It's now 11pm and I'm still writing it. And even though I'm leaving on trip bright and early in the morning that I have yet to start packing for, and there are two baskets of clothes to be folded that I can see in the corner of my eye sitting in my kitchen, I still opted to have our weekly dinner with our grown kids who no longer live with us and pause life for four hours while we fellowship around the table over promised fried green tomatoes, have dance off's on the wii and watch ridiculous videos on Facebook together.   Never mind that I have exactly 7.5 hours to get it all done before we pull out of the driveway in the morning.   And did I mention that one of our "golden rules" in our 26 years of marriage is that we always go to bed at the same time as each other.  This means, I won't be staying up til the wee hours of the morning til I get it all done. My man likes to fall asleep with me right next to him so I have to squeeze what I can in before he's ready to call it a day and then set the alarm to get up super early and finish whatever I didn't get done.

Sounds exhausting huh. Now I'm pretty sure with that preface you are really eager to hear what I have to say about balance huh.  Well humor me if you will.

When Erin first approached me with being a guest for this series on her blog I did what we all do…I told her I would pray about it.  And then I immediately told Nick how mistaken she was to ask me of all people…The one whose middle name should be procrastinate.  But my wise and gentle husband says to me, "But you are balanced Stephanie.  You aren't a worrier.  You go with the flow.  And you know how to choose the eternal stuff over the temporary things."

And through the eyes of my encouraging husband I began to look at my good qualities instead of dwelling  on the bad stuff that had been standing out in my mind of all the areas where I lack and that make me feel like my life is out of balance.  
Instead of focusing on how I usually have a basket of laundry to be folded at all times in our bedroom, 
I chose to focus on the truth that I make it a priority to put time with my husband above all else. And focus on our rule of going to bed at the same time each night is more important to him than perfectly folded and put away laundry.  That is what our balance looks like for us. And it works.

Instead of focusing on the fact that I usually have two or three deadlines that I'm facing for stuff I need to do or finish I chose to look at the fact that I understand it always gets done in the end and that nothing is worth forgoing precious time with my family.  And that my ability to put aside all the stuff I still have yet to do and the ability I have to "turn my brain off" from thinking about all that so that I can really enjoy and live in the moment is a priceless gift that many struggle with being able to do.

I've come to grips that I will probably never have a spotless house.
I will probably never be completely organized and my legacy will not be that I was an incredible time manager who could get more things done in a hour that it takes other women a week.
No that will probably never be said of me.

But what I do know is that  God created me with strengths and weaknesses. And  He wants to be glorified in my life through both.  When I excel in area and have a "grip" on it,  it's for His glory.  So that I can help others along in that area too.  And when I struggle daily over and over again with the same thing in another area…it's for His glory.  So that I remain humble and learn to live my life dependent on His strength and not my own. 

"For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things; to whom be glory for ever. Amen."
Romans 11:36

When my girls were toddlers I always thought my life would feel more balanced when I had more time and wasn't consumed with the daily tasks of motherhood.  But then the girls got older and I no longer had to feed them and change them and bath them.  I had more time but it was then spent running to soccer games and youth events and "stuff".  And now that I have an empty nest you'd think I'd have all kinds of time on my hands to accomplish every project of my heart's desire.  Yet with two of my kids living out of state, and grandkids busting at the seams, I have found myself to be busier than I have ever been.

So what does this mean?  I have learned that finding balance does not depend on the amount of time you have on your hands. So we need to quit waiting for the next season when it will "get easier and slow down" and instead soak up each day and learn to embrace whatever that day has for us. We often miss blessings the Lord has for us while we are rushing through to the next stage of life. Don't just survive while your'e there…God wants us to thrive in each season of our lives.

Neither does balance come with striving for perfection in your home and life.   You can't define what balance will look like for you by looking at your friends life and how she does things.  Balance in my home often looks like dishes left in the sink while I FaceTime my grandkids. But if washing those dishes first is what works for you that is the beauty of how we are each wired. We should celebrate each other's differences instead of comparing our lives to what each other is doing. 

I'm learning daily that a balanced life comes from a total dependance on the Lord.  It comes from understanding what I have been created for and then walking in that calling daily.  It comes from saying yes to the things that will matter for eternity and being confident in saying no to the opportunities He hasn't called me to be a part of.   

And what matters for eternity right now for me is heading off to bed with my man and curling up next to him for some very short sweet sleep consisting of  about 4 hours before my alarm goes off to the tune of "This girl is on Fire". 
Hey, it's how I roll.
That's what my balanced looks like.

How about you?  Do you need to see your life through a fresh set of eyes?  Do you need to extend yourself some grace today as you shift your focus to the things you are excelling in rather than dwelling on your struggles?  I pray that today you rest in knowing you were created by an all perfect God who loves you right in the midst of your messy, busy life.  Whether you need to go wash some dishes and fold clothes or clear your perfectly managed calendar so you can have a "fun day" with your kids or date night with your husband….our God is for us and His mercies are new every single day.



  1. It is about balance Honey! And you seem to have it down to a science!

  2. I love your perspective on this topic- so real and relatable. And a great reminder for most of my days!

  3. Love this! Just found your blog world and it has already been a blessing to me! I love when the heart of a person shines right out of a persons outside too. Thanks for sharing your heart. I have been struggling in my season and trying to be everything to everyone and everywhere too! I'm tired! Praying that I follow Gods plan for me today and to be grateful for today. Love kindred spirits!


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