One very special scarf

There are two trends this season I've been seeing everywhere.
Plaid stuff  and big blanket scarves.

Now I've always been a fan of plaid.  My southern man I'm married to has been rocking plaid shirts his entire life.  And when it's a vintage plaid shirt with snap buttons well,  put a fork in me and call me done. ~swoon.

But back to the big blanket scarves.  They kept popping up everywhere and I was thinking gosh, those are super darn cute and I would really like to find myself one.  And then it dawned on me.  I have one!  In fact I have a PLAID one!  A very special one.

If you know my story, you know that Nick and I got married young.  Very young.  We were 17 years old and still in high school with a new baby.  You can probably figure out that we were  broke financially.   That first year was pretty rough and there was no extra money for anything other than necessities.

So when our first Christmas rolled around, it was slim pickens for us.  I went to the thrift store and found a little red velvet dress with an eyelet collar for Elizabeth to wear (she was three months old). I paid a dollar for it.  I have a teddy bear that Nick gave me when we were dating and I now put Elizabeth's red velvet Christmas dress on the teddy bear and sit it under the christmas tree every year.  It reminds me of so many things…how far we've come, how much grace God has blessed us with, how He always provided for us….I could go on and on.

But back to the scarf.  We had NO money that Christmas.  None.  And we weren't able to give each other a gift….or so I thought.  When Christmas morning rolled around  he had a package under the tree for me.  And inside of it was this big beautiful blue and green plaid scarf.  I had never seen one that big.  He had bought it for me at K-Mart back in the day when "blue light specials" where all the rage.  Please tell me y'all remember those. Seriously some of my favorite memories with my mom was us running across the store in search of that blinking blue glow and whatever 15 minute bargain was waiting.

I  wouldn't trade my K-Mart scarf for all the designer scarves in the world.  That was 26 years ago now. Here's a picture. It's grainy I know. But I love it.

Christmas 1988

My man, me and my beautiful unexpected scarf and Elizabeth in her $1 red velvet dress.

Here is a better pic of the scarf with me, my momma and two brothers.

This picture is so unique because Marvin (on the left) does not wear turtle necks.

And Greg (on the right) always smiled in every picture.  I think he was jealous of Marvin's turtle neck. Or those awesome acid washed jeans.  And my mom pretty much looks the same.  The woman just doesn't age.  Check out that over one shoulder look I've got going on. 

I've kept that scarf in my big box of my girl's keepsake clothes all these years and pulled it out for this years trend of the season.  Have y'all ever worn one?  Let me tell you they are not the easiest things to wear. I remember never knowing how to tie it and it always feeling awkward on me.

So this time I sought help to figure out how to fold it.  Yahoo Style had THE perfect article with great pictures that helped me out tremendously.  This is where I went for my inspiration.  While I was looking I also found this article on how to dress stylish during a Polar Vortex, which may come in handy this year from the looks of it.  Also, this one on how to dress a baby bump (thinking of you Elizabeth) and this one..because who doesn't want to see celebrities in overalls??  But my favorite was THIS ONE…The Royals are coming to New York the first week in December and this is their itinerary!  William and Kate and George in NYC!  Somebody please go stalk them for me and tell me all about it.

Y'all, I could have perused Yahoo Style for another hour or two…so much fun stuff and style inspiration but I had to focus….

Back to the article on how to wear a blanket scarf.

 These are the pics it inspired.

When we were taking these pictures,  I was thinking about how much has changed since the very first time I wore this scarf….we have two more daughters, three son-in-laws, three grandchildren with one on the way, being called into ministry and getting to serve God's people as a vocation (wow), just the fact that we've been interrupted by His grace (WOW)…. I mean so much grace and goodness. But also hard times too.  My brother Greg is no longer with us. It's so hard to believe he's been gone 10 years now.

That blanket scarf represents to me being covered and wrapped up in God's grace and goodness for the past 26 years.

But some things haven't changed.  Y'all see those boots I'm wearing in all the pictures?

He's still surprising me at Christmas.  He's bumped up his budget a little bit and got me some genuine leather Ariat boots last year.  And he's still shopping at unusual places.  This time Tractor Supply.  And I absolutely love it.  

I wonder where all these boots will have taken me in the next 26 years?

I can't wait to find out.

(This post was sponsored by Yahoo.)

     

Out takes

 How many tries does it take to get this picture?

Apparently two dozen times plus one. As in 25.

There was lots of giggling, hard breathing and tinkling by the end of this.

All from me of course. (side note…grandmas probably should not jump and giggle at the same time)

That combo never ends well.

The first pic is the one I ended up posting which ironically was one of the very first ones we took.

My tummy was showing though so I was determined to get another one. In the end it remained my fave so I just strategically placed an arrow professing my love for my man.  ;)

Which by the way… big thank you to my husband for humoring my crazy requests. 

Gosh I love him.

(These were taken using an app on my phone called Camera Timer.  You need it in your life.

Trust me on this one. )

25

This happened last month.

On August 20th we celebrated 25 years of marriage.

Say wha?!  I can't believe it myself.

It has flown by.  Seriously flown by.

We always talked about how on our 25th we would do something big to celebrate...

like go on a big trip or renew our vows. 

But our 25th happened to be sandwiched in between two weddings.

Our daughter's.  So we kinda put the big trip celebrating on hold.

But no worries....we still celebrated.

They made sure of that and made it super special.

Lydia had us over to her house where they cooked us a wonderful meal.

We facetimed Elizabeth and Chris and the grandkids so they could celebrate with us.

They had it decorated beautiful!

Lydia even found these vintage 25th "silver" anniversary dishes.

 We finished out the night getting serenaded by our son-in-law mad skills on the guitar.

It was a wonderful evening.

I always knew life together was gonna be great when we said I do way back then,

But I never knew just how great.

It's better than anything I could have imagined...being his bride.

I'm looking forward to 25 more together!

Oh... and by the time you read this, we'll be putting these passports to use!

Look's like we're gonna get to take that big anniversary trip after all!

My mom and step-dad celebrate their 25th anniversary in Oct and they treated us to join them on a cruise to the Caribbean!  We skipped the family beach trip this year AND....I was the big winner of the Losing to Gain SO she morphed all the trips into one biggie!

Bon Voyage!

                                                                                          

(I'll be unplugged for a while enjoying my man.  No phone, emails, texts, instagram, Facebook.  

I'll see you in a week!)

The Weaker Vessel

I stumbled across this post this morning and felt prompted it was time to share it.  I wrote it almost a year ago and tucked it away for when the Lord released me to share it.  I usually keep it light around here but sometimes.....well you just gotta put it out there.

********************************************************

(written last July)
I have a little something on my heart.

Nick and I will be celebrating our 24th anniversary next month.  I can't even begin to tell y'all how much I love this man.  We have been together since we were 15 yrs old and I can't really remember what life was like not standing by his side.

People who have followed our family on Instagram and Facebook have often asked us what our "secret" is to the joy and fun that they see our family experiencing.  We always tell them the same thing.  It's Jesus.  I'm not casually throwing that out there saying....if you know Jesus then your life/marriage/and children will be perfect.  No way...    It's more than just knowing Jesus... It's doing marriage His way...raising children His way....living life according to how He has told us to in His word.  (and even then, things won't be perfect because He uses the trials to refine us.)

Here is our "secret"... "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth) finding out what is acceptable to the Lord."  Ephesians 5:8-10

Nick and I were married for a little less than 10 years before we both were interrupted by Jesus' saving grace.  We already had our three girls and life as we knew it was good....we were living life large.  It was all about us and everything decision we made was for our own gratification, void of God and certainly void of anything His word  said.

Then Jesus changed Nick's heart..then mine.  We both fell in love with God's word and began to read it and find out what God had to say about our lives.  We began to make changes in the way we lived because of the things we discovered in God's word.  This was a joy for us...not a doom and gloom big list of "no's".  We began to discover God's design for marriage and life  and y'all..... it was amazing.  The things we began to change in our home were blessings.... His way of doing things y'all is the BEST.

So I say all this to get to what is on my heart.  We have 3 daughters right?  We have tried our best to live an example before them of what God's design for marriage should be....  One that is filled with joy and laughter and physical affection...these things were always present in our home.  The girls saw their daddy treat me like a queen and I enjoyed treating him like the king of our home that he is....which brings me to the topic at hand.... submission.

It saddens me today how messed up in their thinking ladies are about this subject.  The very mention of the word gets some ladies fired up and ready to fight... trust me, I've seen it time and time again as we travel in our ministry and this topic comes up in Nick's preaching.  In my opinion, this subject is one of the most important things to be taught on in pulpits.  We have so many wives who are ignorant to what God says on this subject....which is leading to messed up homes....and a messed up society. But that's a whole other  post.

So back to my girls... Lydia was married a couple of weeks ago.  Her daddy married them as he did her big sister, Elizabeth.  And can I just say it was incredible?  Not just the daddy marrying the daughter part...yes, that is as special as they come.  But the the things he shared were so real and heartfelt and most importantly...full of Truth.  God's truth.  He had us laughing one minute and and then crying the next.  It couldn't have been any more  perfect.

And of course as he encouraged Lydia and Marcus with wisdom and exhorted them with the scripture, somewhere in the message He shared with Marcus that Lydia was the weaker vessel and she was to be treated as such....To love her and listen to her heart and lead her in what God says on a subject.  And he told Lydia to respect Marcus at all times... to honor him in their home and in front of people. He shared one of our "secrets" and that is the fact that Nick and I never belittle each other..we don't talk bad about one another or dwell on each others faults...not to each other and certainly not in front of other people.
Anyways...I could go on and on about what he shared.  The ceremony was so beautiful and God was glorified.

Now.... jump to the reception and to where I'm going with this. Everything was beautiful.  We were overwhelmed by all the friends and family that came to celebrate with us.  The church was packed...people were standing along the side of the building and in the back because we ran out of space.  Overwhelmed by the friends and family the Lord has blessed us with.

Now what I'm about to tell y'all did not put a damper on any of the glorious festivities... in fact, Lydia didn't even tell us until after they got back from the honeymoon.  But I'm so thankful for the foundation of truth that has been laid in our girls that has given them the ability to discern things for themselves.  And Lydia was able to see the deception and a person devoid of what God says on a subject immediately.

At the reception a lady comes up and congratulates her on how wonderful everything was and how beautiful she looked and then makes it a point to tell our daughter, "Oh...and Don't you EVER let ANYONE tell you that you are weaker than ANYONE."    And then hugs her neck.

Now as a follower of Christ ...let me say how sad that makes me that women everywhere are so ignorant of what God has to say on this subject.  1 Peter 3: clearly states "  Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that our prayers may not be hindered."  We are by design different than men.  We are equal in our value in this world and in the eyes of the Lord.  But He chose to make women different from men...he made us physically weaker in need of a protector.  I understand that is not a welcomed thought in this society and even amongst some Christian circles.  I understand that our society has changed so much and men have become so emasculated by over domineering women in their lives that the example of strong male leadership has diminished over the years.  I understand that.  But it doesn't' change what God's word has to say on a subject.   Whether we like it or not.

Don't get me wrong....at one time in my life, when the Holy Spirit wasn't residing in me, illuminating Truth to me, it would have ruffled my feather's too.  I was once ignorant of what God said on this matter too...just as I am still growing in grace and knowledge today...I get that.

So as a fellow sister in Christ it saddens me of the illiteracy of God's word and therefore ignorance of some people....particularly this woman.

But let me say as a mother...this incident makes me angry.

Lydia is a young woman who has just become a wife...about to start her journey with all its joys and trials that will follow.  And AT HER WEDDING...this lady feels the need to try to plant seeds of discord in this young brides heart.... This lady comes bearing gifts of worldly garbage that is useless to my daughter. Trash that needs to be thrown away. Unbelievable.  She tries to discredit what Lydia's daddy has taught her and emulated for her in our home ( that has worked beautifully by the way b/c its GOD's way) and  gives her "stellar advice" to basically never submit to Marcus if she wants to be happy.

What nerve.  Yeah...kinda got this momma bear riled up.

Ladies,  Submission is freedom.  Don't believe the lie of the world that tells you it demeans you, or lessens your value as a person.  God has given us boundaries to live within. And as a wife one of those boundaries is to be submissive to our husbands.  (Ephesians 5:21-19) It is a freeing thing....not bondage.  When we choose to submit to our husbands it is not showing weakness....quite the contrary!  It shows strength.

Knowing that God has chosen to design me as the weaker vessel does not threaten me or my sense of worth.  It does not make me angry and it doesn't make me feel any less of person.  Understanding that I was created with a different purpose and then learning to walk in that purpose has given me such joy in my role as a wife and mother.  I no longer compete with my husband on matters in life, I complete him.  We are a team and I am an asset to him.   We need each other.  It's a beautiful thing.

These are principles we have lived by for the past 15 years in our marriage and I can testify that it is only gotten sweeter and sweeter with each passing year.  Is it because we are special or perfect?  No way. It's because we have heart to honor God's word and He gives us the grace to do that each day.

I pray this foundation we have laid for all three of our girls in our home before them each day will be the very glue that binds their hearts to their husbands for many many many years to come.

ps. It has been almost a year since I wrote this post....we are approaching our 25th anniversary and yes.....it is sweeter than ever.  Praise God!!

When the dust settles

Happy Monday y'all. 

We are back from our trip to bring the grandchildren home. I have so much to share....things God has taught me _ reminded me of_ through watching my grandkids do life. I can't wait to document those moments here for them to cherish...but that's for another time.  

Today it has hit me as look around at my little nest...

 I see the evidence left behind of little souls at play.  Toys still scattered on the floor that didn't get picked up on our hectic morning of departure. I see evidence of a wedding in the works as I look at little projects in the corners of my house that means my  last daughter at home will be leaving me soon.

And we returned home to some not so fun life stuff ....like a wonky wi fi that wouldn't work and a broken hot water heater and waking up to a full blown sinus cold.   None of this stuff is major.   It just seems more disappointing...more of a let down.... in contrast to the week I just experienced.

And it got me thinking about life. My life.

That when the dust settles after the whirlwind of raising kids, planning weddings, long visits with grandkids.... when the disappointing and hard stuff happens..

I'm glad it's always this guy that is left by my side.

There is no one else on this planet that "gets me" like he does.

He is the person I'd rather be with more than anyone else.  

We get asked often what our "secret" is.

This quote that was on the back of our church bulletin this Sunday sums it up perfectly.

(Thanks Karen for finding stuff with substance to share with us each week on our bulletins!)

"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now....when first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."

C.S. Lewis

 Putting first things first.

Jesus, Nick and then my girls. 

That may sound selfish but there is truly nothing better we can give our kids than them seeing their momma and daddy love each other with a vibrant healthy relationship. Nick and I have always made sure we had time for each other...sometimes we had to fight for it when the girls were small and so physically demanding but we made it a priority in our marriage.  

  Time for each other is the fuel that keeps the passion burning.

Make the time for your man.

Clear your calendar if you have to. Drop a few activities.  Say no to friends.  Turn off the tv.

Turn off the computer.  Put down the phone.

 Trust me on this one girl.  It's worth it.

source

Before long the dust is gonna settle for you too and 

you really want to like the person you're standing next to.

                                                                                        

ps.  Gotta give props to our daughter, Elizabeth, for sharing her gifts with me and her daddy.  These pics were taken by her.  Against her professional photographer self, I took the disc before she could edit any of them. They are straight out the camera...except for a couple that I edited on my Ipad.   You can check out her photography blog  here.