Hanging with Honey {Day 5}: Porterville Night

This post was originally published over at The Common Table and even though I talk about this topic often, I've only shared one other post about Porterville Night and it was a million years ago. (it's pretty much word for word the same post as this one except for the pictures..yo.) AND since tonight is Monday, which is the official night of the week set aside for P-Night, I thought it was only fitting to post this today.  (If you follow me on instagram or Facebook then you know Nick is preaching a revival this week.  We covet your prayers and please know I will be back soon with current content.  HANG in there with me.  xxoo)


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I've come to learn over the years  that some of our greatest blessings are born out of deepest afflictions.

This is how "Porterville Night" came into existence.

If I were to take you back in our family seven years ago, all three of my girls would still be living at home with me and their daddy, safe in my little nest that I loved so much.  You would find a house bustling with activity…where my daughter's friends were always around our table, popping in and out, spending the night, and just hanging out.  You would witness bible studies with high school girls gathered around my table and lots of impromptu fellowships with friends.  

Then as life would have it, they each began to spread their wings.  One by one they fell in love and we watched as the Lord revealed these special men to our girls who would one day be their husbands.

It was an exciting time in our family.  A whirlwind of excitement.   Watching these precious relationships develop and grow…literally right before our eyes as their men hung out our house  so we could get to know them.  

Our oldest daughter got married first seven years ago this November. It was quite an adjustment no longer having her presence with us in our home.  We soon became grandparents which was incredible and then right when I was getting the hang of a new normal, it was like a dam broke and I got caught swept up in a tidal wave of change.  The kind where you can't seem to catch a breath.  Each time I would come up for air, a wave would knock me back under water.

In the midst of this season, our family moved from living in town out to the community where my husband had been pastoring for almost two years.   We went from being the hub of activity…grand central station to moving 40 miles out to the country to a little community called Porterville.

Porterville is a place where no one just "stops by".  You have to drive 45 minutes from where we used to live to do that….45 minutes away from any kind of civilization.  We are in the boondocks. We have to drive 17 miles to get to a gas station.  So all of the hustle of activity with my girls that I thrived on pretty much came to a halt. Porterville was like the wilderness to me.

Now I'd like to say I handled this season in a beautiful way and was an incredible example to my daughters of how to handle change and things we don't like in our lives with grace and maturity.  But I can't.  I pouted.  I succumbed to depression.  My girls didn't even like hanging out at the house anymore, much less their guys.  But through God's relentless love and kindness that leads us to repentance I asked God to forgive me and I refocused how I was looking at things.

And what came next is now one of our families favorite events……Porterville Night.

I realized I had to be intentional about our family time together so we set aside Monday nights as the night we would keep our calendars clear and make sure we were all gathered together.  This new tradition started when the girls were still at home and the boys would ride out together.  I would cook and we would often play board games all night.  It's nothing fancy.  The goal is just being together.  

We've had bonfires where we roasted marshmallows and sang around the campfire. We've sat around flipping through channels on the tv. We've had dance offs on the Wii.  And occasionally we'll watch a movie.  It really doesn't matter as long as we are together.  

As far as Porterville goes, for me it's more of a state of mind than it is a place on the map.

Porterville Night represents contentment. 

It represents the fact that we have resolved to carve out time for being together.

It represents the fact that we have committed to make our time together a celebration.

You see, in recent years our family has evolved.

We have always been tight knit.  We've always done everything together.

And we like it that way.

But life has happened and kids have grown up, gotten married and moved away.

We can no longer all be together for ALL things that take place.

As a momma, I could fight with God on this issue and stay miserable..

pining away about how it used to be.

But by His grace He's done such a work in my heart.  

Learning how to love what you do have instead of whining about what you don't have is a  freeing thing.  

FREEDOM y'all. 

Liberty.  

So instead of being sad that we can't hang out all the time, I've chosen to be ecstatic over when we do get to hang out.  And that's what our Porterville Night is all about.

Now this is the season I'm in...having grown kids branching out..learning to do "family" a new way.

But so many of y'all  are dealing with the same stuff....just a different season.

The momma who had to send off her little love to kindergarten and is learning to adjust to them being gone 6 hours a day, 5 days a week being shaped and molded by someone else when up to this point that sole person has been you.

Or the one who is having to deal with their kid who has hit the teenage years and you as a mom, who was once their best friend that they wanted to do everything with, suddenly gets put on the back burner to new friends and new activities.

Or the dear one whose older parents are now in poor health or have recently passed away and you are learning how to do life with the biggest void you've ever experienced.

When we find ourselves in these new seasons that honestly, we'd prefer the old way of doing things...

it's then we have a choice to make.

We have to choose to embrace the new way of doing things and discover the joy awaits.

We can waste precious time dreaming about what used to be or..

we can have ourselves a Porterville Night!

I hope you choose yourself a "Porterville Night".

 

Hanging with Honey {Day Two}: The High Kick

The High Kick.  It's a Holden tradition.  

We've been doing it for so long now I don't even think about it.

We don't wave goodbye.  We high kick.

So why do we do this?

It goes back to when my girls were young. We have always lived long distance from family.  We've never lived next door to each other and done the "normal stuff" like Sunday dinner after church or hanging out after school for a snack.  Before Nick was in the ministry he was in the Navy.  So our family has grown accustomed to life filled with week long visits over the holidays and lots of goodbyes.

That can be tough.  Especially for a house full of emotional girls.

Because the truth of the matter.....goodbyes stink.

So I decided to do something about it.  On one of the occasions when my mom was leaving after a visit, instead of standing there choking back tears and forcing a smile as we watched her pull out the driveway,  I decided to throw up my leg and high kick her.  We all got the giggles and momma left us with genuine smiles on our faces.

So it kinda stuck. 

And now it's affectionately known as the Holden High Kick.

There have been so many high kicks over the years.  Too many to count.

But here is a few we happened to document for one reason or another....

My mom took this one as they drove away from Cow Camp a few years ago.

This one was taken years ago when Lydia was teaching my Rosalyn, my grand daughter,  how to properly say goodbye. (she's almost 7 years old now.)

She was so proud of herself she wouldn't stop.

And check out that form.  Hashtag proud grandma.

I'm pretty sure she gets it from her Great Maw-Maw Loni. 

(Dear Lord, please let me still be high kicking like this when I'm 72.)

However, sometimes it's hard to convince the grandkids that high kicks are fun when Honey and  Paw Paw are leaving.  Nate Dog wasn't having any of it on this goodbye.

But the funny thing is...they think that High Kicking when you leave is the totally normal thing to do.

And that everyone does this.

Sometimes we even drag other people into our crazy. 

Goodbyes never are easy but I truly think our high kicking has softened the sting.

We've pulled our son-in-laws into the crazy.
(actually, they had no choice in the matter but they love it anyways.)

So there you have it in case you were ever wondering...

The Holden High Kick.

Try it next time you have to say goodbye.

I guarantee you leave smiling.

   

The Sweetest Gift

Last week while I was at Elizabeth's she took some pics for me with the grandkids for Mother's Day.    It was the sweetest gift. 

It was also an adventure with four kids. More specifically, it was an adventure with Nate Dog.

I don't think there were any "perfect" pictures taken at all.   Someone was always not looking.

But like I've told my girls for years..

Perfect is overrated anyways.

cuff by my girl Becky farmgirlpaints

(her shop re-opens Friday!)

My sweet first born Rosalyn.

The one who made me a Honey.

Our deep thinker, quick witted, best dance moves, sometimes bossy, always sweet, doesn't forget a thing, soon to be first grader.

My precious Julia Rose.

The one who recalls every detail of her dreams and has the best morning conversations in the world.

She's our dreamer, peacemaker, left handed artist, deeply sensitive, romantic, funny,  almost kindergartner.

My Little Man Nate

The first grandson

He's our wild child, hilarious, full of energy, hard headed, keeps us humble, loves to lead, all boy,  soon to be fully potty trained (we hope)

My Darling little Hazel Jane

The baby and caboose of this crazy love train

Our little drooler, momma lover, chubby legged, loves to nurse, wiggle worm!

Can't wait to watch your little personality continue to emerge.

Paw Paw

The love of my life and my lover.

He's our wise rock, our problem solver, nurse of the family, the one with all the answers, the one who sees the very best in everyone. Especially me.

And My Dearest Elizabeth

The one who has had to put up with a momma basically growing up with her.

She's a giver,  people lover,  best listener,  deep feeler, patient momma and great friend

Thanks sweet love for always showing your momma grace.

And thank you for taking these pictures for me.

You are so incredibly talented.  I love you.

( For Elizabeth's sake please know that none of these pics are edited.  They are straight out the camera.  Momma was hasty. ;) )

And thank you for those of you who still actually come hang out with me here.

Seriously.  Y'all are the best.

The Gorilla and the Pig {repost and update}

Today is my big bro's birthday.   

There is so much I could say about him.   

If you know him personally then you know what I'm talking about.

He's a mess in the best kind of way.  

But this blog post from three years ago popped up on my Time Hop app and it made me smile reading it.

I thought I'd just share it again...it might make you smile too.

And....when you get to the end of the post, I share a recent funny story about the three of us and a few favorite updated pics of us.  :)

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This here is my big brother.

His name is Marvin and it's his birthday tomorrow.

Here he is trying to aggravate me...he still does this hand on my head thing.
When I was a little girl, he dubbed me with the nickname "Sow".

So I've been called that my entire life.

Except when he calls me, Sowpig, Swamp Sow (yeah..I dunno about that one, I guess cuz we're from Louisiana), Momma Sow, and my new favorite....Sow Maw, which he is trying desperately to get my grandkids to call me. 

He's not into my fab themed birthday parties I throw.

In fact, he told me this year they're stupid.

So I'm not gonna throw him a party this year. 

Nope. Not gonna do it.

Oh and he really hates that I take pictures all the time

He never cooperates.  

Like this, for instance...

and this..

Oh, and he REALLY hates when pics of him end up on my blog or on fb.

So PLEASE, don't tell him about this one ....

or this one..

 or this one.

Even though he can be a pain
He really is a great big brother.
I love him to pieces.
We usually laugh a bunch when we're together.

And I'm incredibly proud of him and how the Lord is using him.
I mean, everyone who is saved by God's grace is transformed,
but some of our transformations are a little more outwardly noticeable.
Like my brother for instance.
This is before Jesus interrupted his life...

He used to be a high school drop out drug addict.

And this is what God did...

He went from being a high school drop out to seminary graduate.
He delivered him, transformed him, and then called him into the ministry.
That is what grace looks like.

His passion for people and desire to see them know Jesus inspires me.
Don't tell him, but I think he's one of the most awesome guys I know.
We tease each other a lot but I'm so proud I'm his sister and he's my big brother.

Oh....and about the title "The Gorilla and the Pig"...
Well I've had to live my entire life being called Sow right?
So.... when the Lord blessed me with grandchildren, I taught them to call him Gorilla!
And they do!

Ahhh...revenge is so sweet.

Happy Birthday Gorilla!
This little pig loves you :)

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The pic below is my all time favorite picture of him.  It was taken when we he and Nick both preached at the Louisiana Evangelism Conference last year.  I snapped this as we were walking in the building and was just overwhelmed thinking about our lives and how the Lord has changed us... our family.  

Just him. By himself armed with God's word.  Step after step,  day after day,  year after year sharing the gospel, spreading hope, bringing truth to those who are still in darkness like we once were.

I need to frame this I love it so much.

I cry almost every time I get to hear him preach.

God changes lives people.  He transforms marriages. This guy right here is living proof.

 I'm literally in tears as I type this thinking about what all He has done in Marvin's life.  In our family.  It's so good to remember.

But I promised you a funny story before I go.  It's probably funnier to our family than it will be to y'all. But anyways, here goes. 

The older I get my girls keep telling me how much I look/act like Marvin.  I usually tell them they are crazy but honestly there are times I will say something or make a face and I totally know it was a "Marvin Moment".  After being in denial of our obvious similarities, it was a trip to our favorite Chinese restaurant a couple of months ago that made me face reality.  

We had a new waitress that none of us knew.  She was Asian and spoke very little English.  Our mom was down visiting and we were all at the table together along with Ms Dianne, Marvin's wife/Nick's mom. (yeah, you read that right. You can check out our crazy, wonderful, grace covered family tree here)

Anyways, this waitress takes our order and then starts patting her face with her hands saying, "Same same."  We were so confused and had no idea what she was talking about so we told her what we wanted to drink again.  And she shook here head and again said. "Same same" , while she patted her face.  Then she kept saying it over and over while pointing to me, Marvin and my mom.  Finally Ms Dianne starts dying laughing and says, "She's trying to tell y'all that the three of you all look the same!"  Well, when the waitress heard that, her eyes lit up and she nodded her head..."Same same!! Same same!"     She was so fascinated with us that a little later, she even came back with another lady, who also spoke little English, to point us out to her!  

I don't know if it's our beady eyes, laugh lines or big mouths but apparently to this total stranger thought we looked....

"Same same."

And I guess I'm okay with that after all.

Happy Birthday Gorilla! I love you more than you know.