"The Dress"

First, I just want to say thank you for all of the comments and texts concerning this post.   I can't wait to thank each one of you for the kind words and encouragement...it may take me until next month to respond to y'all... but I will... I want to.

Things are moving right along and we are just about finished with the majority of the major projects.  Oh wait.... I just assume everyone reading this knows what it going on in my little corner of the world..  For those who don't,  my middle daughter is getting married in...gulp... 16 days!!  Yowza!   

Anyways, I've shared a few things about the big event on here... but her daddy is making us wait to share all the projects we've been busting our butt working so hard on until after the wedding.  But I do have something of the utmost importance to share with you today...

The Dress!

And nooo  you crazy person.... I'm not talking about my daughter's wedding dress. 

 That is top secret stuff.

I'm talking about the OTHER dress.... the mother of the bride dress.... MY dress!! 

When my oldest got married, I made two trips intentionally looking for my dress. 

Found it on the second trip.  Bought it. Wore it. End of story.

Then about 6 months after her wedding, I lost close to 50 pounds and got tee-ninsey little.

I remember trying on clothes then and thinking, "Wow! it woulda been so much easier shopping for the mother of the bride dress as this size!"  You don't have to find a dress that flatters your flaws.  You can just pick out the dress you like the best.  And I vowed that come my next two daughters weddings...this wouldn't be an issue.

Well.... fast forward almost 5 years later and I'm a few pounds heavier.  ~sigh.

SOO... shopping for "the dress" has been a challenge and become quite hilarious. 

You see, I have several problem areas and "flaws" that needs to be considered when I shop for dresses. I have no problem sharing those with you.. and will.....after the wedding.  I just don't want those of you who are actually coming to the wedding to be zeroing in on what I'm trying to hide....so my transparency and your curiosity will just have to wait a few more weeks.

This is the dress I had my heart set on.. in my mind it was perfect.

   

But alas...you have to have it custom made...in China and it was non-returnable. That whole process freaked me out.  I don't know about you, but 3 out of 4 times I'm surprised in the dressing room.  The one I may have thought was perfect on the hanger, often ends of being the most hideous on. So... even though I searched near and far for this dress in a store,  it was never to be found....which started the ridiculous journey of trying to replace it in my heart...

After 6 attempts....6 dresses that have been bought and brought home..... I have returned 4 and have narrowed it down to 2.   It has become a joke in our family.   As of this moment, I'm still not sure which one of the 2 it's gonna be.  Craziness.   I like living on the edge I guess.  lol

Here is a little slice of a sneak peak of the dresses.  

And don't even try to guess which 2 are still in the running cuz I ain't telling!  ;)

I will say this is me on the day I was returning one of them because it had gotten TOO BIG!

Whoop Whoop.

Let me go so I can catch the mailman...I'm sending Jillian Michaels an invitation to the wedding. :)

She AND Natalie and Anita are invited...their 30 day shred is the real deal.

Stephanie :)

Embrace

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm sitting here in a completely empty house.
Void of commotion. Void of chaos. Void of people.
It's just me here ....even Nick is gone which is unusual.  One of the blessings of the ministry that we have been called to affords us to be together 24/7.. and we both love it.

But today..this afternoon... it's just me.

It's so ironic, because I remember the days when I longed for solitude.  When I would do anything for a little "me" time.

When the girls were little, I just wanted to use the bathroom by myself.  I longed for those days of uninterrupted time to take a bath without an audience or to be able to make a phone call without hearing the word "Mommmma" a thousand times.

Then it shifted to the teenage years and the girls not needing me physically as much but there was still constant commotion in the house.   Friends over, in and out.. one daughter would get home and another would be pulling out. Our house was grand central station...the hub where all the action took place... and I loved every second of the chaos. ...it was good chaos.

Then the first graduated and then eventually married.
Then the second graduated and will be married in three weeks.
Then the third graduated and is starting college in the fall.

Sigh.  Hence the quiet house today.  Now granted..today is not the normal.  The quiet.
It seems these last few months leading up to the wedding...our house has kicked it up a notch in the action department.  The girls are home more than ever....it's as if they are hanging on to the last little piece of our "normal" as we all know it and they are soaking up every opportunity for us all to be together.  Just being a family doing normal family stuff.  Soon it will become family "get togethers" and family suppers  and family holiday gatherings.  But the everyday, get up in your pjs with bed head, fighting over who gets the last raspberry yogurt, borrowing each other's clothes from their closets, chilling on the couch doing nothing kinda everyday happenings are about to change.   The girls have been hanging out together and with me and their daddy every free moment and I have totally loved it.  I thrive the best in this climate..

Which is why today has left me a little unsettled.  Instead of enjoying a much needed afternoon of rest and solitude...I'm sitting here thinking... "Wow. This is what my new normal is gonna be like."  It makes me a little sad.

 Me and the girls when they were little at our annual beach vacation. 

This pic was taken just a few months before Elizabeth got married.  I remember when I took this picture, that it hit me as they walked down the little path as sisters...our family as we knew it was about to change.

This January, I shared what my "word" for this year was gonna be..."Embrace".
I knew what the year was gonna bring...lots of change. And my prayer was that I wouldn't just endure the change and just get by and survive.  But I wanted to embrace the change...to soak up everything the Lord wanted to teach me in the midst of it.  Embrace it so that I can share what I gained  to help others who would face similar situations.    I love the definition of embrace....

          to take or clasp in the arms; press to the bosom; hug.

      to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly.

That is so my heart.  That is what I'm fighting for each day.  When my thoughts begin to wander to all the things that are about to change, I have to consciously make myself focus on what I'm about to gain when I choose to embrace instead of what I'm about to loose in the midst of the change.

"..casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 

2 Corinthians 10:5

You see, not only is my middle daughter getting married in three weeks...

And not only did my baby just graduate and "Holden's Academy" closed it's doors to its last student...

But to turn the heat up on the emotions that are brewing in my heart, my oldest daughter and son-in-law and my three grand children will be moving next week....11 hours away.  

It's a lot to take in for a mommas heart even if you spread it out in a years time.

But when all this takes place within weeks of each other... well...it can be overwhelming if I let it.

So.. I'm choosing to embrace.  I'm choosing to focus on what I'm gaining..

• A daughter whose husband is the spiritual leader and strives to live daily in the center of God's will...even if that means moving hundreds of miles away to follow in obedience the call the Lord has on their lives.
• I'll have a new place to travel to.  I love road trips.
• I'll have awesome FaceTime dates with my grand kids and I'm thankful God has provided the tools I need to do it.
• I'm about to gain another incredible son when Lydia gets married.
• I'm about to have the possibility of MORE grand kids and watch them experience cousins!
• I'll finally get my craft room I've been dreaming about.
• I'll get to experience the empty nest with the best looking Paw Paw ev-ah and can I just say....THAT is something I'm looking forward to. 

Even so, this isn't an easy thing for me.. to choose to embrace instead of merely enduring. It's not natural for me in the flesh.  This is a supernatural thing the Lord is doing in my heart through His grace.  I am amazed daily just how sufficient His grace is.

Now, don't get me wrong... I've had a few moments when the emotions erupted. I'm not a crier. And I hate to cry in public.  Hate it.  On one particular day for no good reason, the tears were at the surface all. day. long.  They finally just oozed out over lunch with Nick at Chili's. Nothing was said that triggered it... It was just one of those days and I just couldn't hold them in and they just came out right over my salad.  This is not a bad thing.... I just wished it had happened in my car. Or at home.  Oh well.  At least they came.  They were needed.

So I say all this not to get sympathy. This is part of life...this season I'm in.  Millions of moms have lived through it before me and millions of moms will live through it after me.

I just ask that if you think about me in the days ahead... during the move, the wedding.....when me and my girls are all trying to get used to our new "normals"... would you pray for us? 

Pray for us to have contented hearts. 

Pray for us to look to the Lord and keep our eyes on Him and the prize that is before us.  

Pray we will embrace it all.  

Every last thing He has for us in the midst of the change.

I may have to give up our "normal" but  what I have gained in the process is worth it all...

The change is bringing growth in more ways than one.

I definitely have a lot to embrace now!!

Stephanie :)

#photoadaymay

Well... I did way better in May than I did in April.

Can't promise much in June...we got a little sumpin sumpin going down in our family in June!

No biggie....  :) 

Here's my May pic's... 

for all you OCD people out there, you may want to shut your eyes and not look at this collage.  

I made it on my phone late at night without my reading glasses.   

I thought it looked beau-t-full....until it popped up on my big screen. 

Lots of boo boos with lining up the the little squares.

But my time is more precious to me than being perfect...

so it is what it is  :)

** Something I discovered when I posted this....

See number 14?  It says grass. 

Notice the pic I posted that day...

(it's on the third row all the way to the end)

Notice it's not a pic of grass.  .... I thought it said GROSS.

So I shared a pic of my sweaty roots that are in desperate need of a touch up!! 

Oh my.  I've GOT to start wearing those reading glasses I bought. 

Stephanie :)

ps. i'm honeyholden on instagram.  Say hello to me on there.. :)

"40"

So excited to share with y'all a little project that has taken me one entire year to complete.

I started it the day I turned 40.

I finished it the day I turned 41.

What you are about to see is what my "40" looked like.

"Every day of my life was recorded in Your book

before one of them had taken place."

Psalm 139:16

"Teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom".

Psalm 90:12

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning.

Great is Your faithfulness,

"The Lord is my portion."  says my soul,

"Therefore I hope in Him!".

Lamentations 3:22-24

Stephanie :)

The Countdown

As of today, the wedding is officially one month away.

This time next month we will be watching our daughter leave our home to begin her new life with the man of her dreams and the one we prayed for through the years.

That's all can say about that today...

The words just aren't there yet to share all the emotions that are bubbling around.

I tend to keep a lid on stuff like this and keep it pushed down inside.

It will seep out soon enough.

the joy.  the bitter sweetness.  the gratefulness  

I've yet to share any of their engagement pictures with y'all so

 I thought in honor of  "the countdown" I'd do that today.

But we are counting down so much more than just the days left we have to get all the projects finished. And so much more than just counting down to the day that Lydia has dreamed of since she was a little girl....  So much more than counting down to one day...

No, we are counting down the days to her beginning.

We are counting down to the start of a new lifetime.

Wow.

(First, before we get to the engagement session photos, these are from the very day she got engaged way back in November on Thanksgiving Day... so appropriate.)

My momma running her over with excitement.  love this scene.

 Showing off her ring....notice Marcus.  I'm not sure if he's relieved or more like "what have I gotten myself into?" in this picture.  lol

And my favorite....

Her Daddy checking out the ring.

So much could be said about what's going on in this picture.

Now....onto the engagement pics.

These were all taken by April and Paul . 

They are a husband and wife team and they will rock your world with their talent...

Enjoy.

And yes...he really was playing the banjo in all these pics... and singing from what I've been told.

I think happy people do stuff like that.

Stephanie :)