Last night was kind of rough. I started feeling bad before we went to sleep. My stomach was feeling sort of weird. I took me a couple of swigs of the pink stuff and we called it a day. We climbed into our familiar bed and after playing monopoly on my iPad to "shut off my brain", I finally drifted off to sleep.
Only to be awakened around 4:00am with that unmistakable feeling….ughh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
I laid in the bed as long as I could without moving around so I wouldn't wake up Nick with my restlessness. I finally couldn't take it anymore and got up and went to the bathroom…and waited for the inevitable to happen.
Well, I never got sick. I actually wanted to. I was so super nauseous. But I knew I that I couldn't go lay back down because I'd probably toss and turn and keep Nick up so I went into the living room. I tried to read but that made me feel worse. I checked out what was happening on instagram and Facebook…which wasn't much since it was 4:30 in the morning. So I played Monopoly again and realized I was tired enough to go lay back down.
Being the sweet and sacrificial wife that I am, I decided to go lay down in the guest room instead of crawling back in the bed with Nick. One….I didn't want to breathe all over him if I was sick and two….I knew I'd probably wake him up for sure when I climbed back in bed next to him. I'm not known for my graceful moves and smooth entries and exits. I run into walls and trip on stuff on an almost daily occurrence.
So into this tiny bed I climbed and I snuggled up under the quilt and tried my darnedest to fall asleep.
But I still laid there in that little bed. Even though my big bed and Nick were available just a few feet away in the other room.
And then there was this doll. She's quite the treasure to me and comes with an amazing story that I need to tell y'all about one day. I've had her since I was about 7 yrs old. But in the dark, in the wee hours in the morning, when you're already feeling cruddy and missing the comfort of your husband laying next to you, she is not the sweetest of things to see staring back at you from across the room. I mean, have y'all seen the Annabell movie commercials? I have and she was the straw that broke the camels back.
When I finally woke up this morning and passed the guest bedroom in the hall way and saw the little bed with the sheets pulled back right where I had abandoned them during the night, I thought about how long I laid there before I finally got up and ended my misery and sought comfort where it had always been waiting and available to me just a across the hall.
And I thought how often I do this very thing with the Lord. I'm troubled, even sick over a circumstance and I choose to seek comfort in every other place except in Him. I try to make it work in the guest room bed when He wants me to climb up in the master suite and let me rest on His chest as He sings over me.
How many times have I forfeited peace? How many times have I settled for the kind of comfort that the world offers that only lasts for a moment? I thought about that standing there looking at those pink sheets. When I've turned to food to make me feel a little better. Or when I've turned to a movie to "get lost in" for a couple of hours to kind of numb myself from what's going on around me. We all have something we settle for…that fleeting comfort. That semi-rest from the little twin sized guest room instead of the sweet sleep that comes from our Lover's bed that ushers in the kind of peace that surpasses understanding.
I'm thankful for a Savior who never shuts His door to me. He's available to me at any time no matter what, and I want to get to that place where I live…where I abide in this reality. It made me think of the words to this old hymn. Have you heard it lately? Have you ever really listened to its words and ponder what you're singing instead of just letting the familiar words roll of your lips?
- What a friend we have in Jesus,All our sins and griefs to bear!What a privilege to carryEverything to God in prayer!Oh, what peace we often forfeit,Oh, what needless pain we bear,All because we do not carryEverything to God in prayer!
- Have we trials and temptations?Is there trouble anywhere?We should never be discouraged—Take it to the Lord in prayer.Can we find a friend so faithful,Who will all our sorrows share?Jesus knows our every weakness;Take it to the Lord in prayer.
- Are we weak and heavy-laden,Cumbered with a load of care?Precious Savior, still our refuge—Take it to the Lord in prayer.Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?Take it to the Lord in prayer!In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,Thou wilt find a solace there.
- Blessed Savior, Thou hast promisedThou wilt all our burdens bear;May we ever, Lord, be bringingAll to Thee in earnest prayer.Soon in glory bright, unclouded,There will be no need for prayer—Rapture, praise, and endless worshipWill be our sweet portion there.
"Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pain we bear…
In His arms He'll take and shield thee, Though wilt find a solace there."
I'm so thankful that God used an upset stomach and a sleepless night to remind me of that great truth. Just like I finally experienced sweet sleep in the loving arms of my husband who in spite of my concern, actually didn't wake up when I climbed into bed next to him. So will I experience the sweetest of peace when I learn to go to the Lord first with my burdens. He wants to be my shelter and refuge and strong tower. He wants to sing over me tenderly. He's such a great God.
Take it from me…don't sleep in the guest room when you have access to the master suite.
In your marriage and in your relationship with the Lord.
In your marriage and in your relationship with the Lord.